Here in Lasagna
by Tirnel
Summary: A hilarious parody featuring some of our favorite characters.


**Here in Lasagna**

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Summary: A hilarious parody featuring some of our favorite characters.

A/N: A random thought popped in my head one day while on my computer. Instead of Eryn Lasgalen it is Here in Lasagna. It has been long in the concept and on the back burner, but now, hopefully I have a workable concept. Some of the characters' names are used from Lord of the Beans since they fit so nicely. I do plan for more. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or…. . any of the other things used (I cannot spoil the surprise).

Here in Lasagna there lived an elf named Leg-o-lamb. He was the youngest son of the king of Lasagna, Strand-o-drool. They were to have visitors from Rivet Dale today. He had met Elladum and Elrohee before, but this time they were bringing someone new, a younger brother that no one had known about before. Leg-o-lamb awaited their arrival near the gates of his father's home.

Before the sun had set, the three rode into view. Elladum and Elrohee were just as he remembered them, though he still could not tell them apart. Leg-o-lamb approached and bowed, welcoming them to his father's kingdom. "Greetings, my friends, I have been awaiting your coming. My lord wishes for you to dine with us this eve if it be pleasant to you. I trust your journey was not troublesome?"

"Our journey was fortunately uneventful." One of the twins answered him as they dismounted. "It would be an honor to dine with you and your family tonight. We are not overly tired as we took our time."

The other twin spoke while laying a hand on the youth that stood next to them, "Allow me to introduce our younger brother, Ear-o-corn. It is my hope that the two of you will become friends."

Ear-o-corn bowed and greeted him. Legolas greeted him in return but something was niggling at the back of his mind. There was something about this elf that was different. However, he could not put his finger on it, so he let it go. The horses were stabled and tended to while Leg-o-lamb led the three into the palace.

Ear-o-corn gazed in wonder at the halls of Strand-o-drool. He had never before seen such. The torches filled the halls with a red light and through several halls and twisting corridors, their host led them. Their feet sent echoes down the passages. Before long, they came to a hall. There sat the king on a throne made of stone with woodland flowers in his hair, for it was spring. In his hand, he held a carved staff of oak.

Legolas stopped and stood before the king. "My king," he said bowing, "I bring to you our guests: Elladum, Elrohee, and their younger brother, Ear-o-corn.

The three bowed and greeted the king. Strand-o-drool rose from his seat and stood before them. Ear-o-corn noted how much Leg-o-lamb favored his father in looks. The two could almost pass for brothers. Almost.

"I was not aware," said the king, "that Bell-rung had another son. But you are welcome nonetheless. Leg-o-lamb shall show you to your rooms so you may freshen up. Then you shall join me in the dining hall for some vitals if you are not too tired from your journey."

There were roasts meats, pies, cakes, several of which Ear-o-corn had seen before, but some were new and wholly strange to him. He ate them anyhow so as not to offend his host. While some of these anonymities were good, some would take some getting used to. 'Dum and 'Hee were speaking incessantly with several of the elves around them that had joined them for the feast. Ear-o-corn decided that some of these were Leg-o-lambs brothers and sisters, for they bore striking resemblances to Leg-o-lamb and his father. Though they could not possibly _all_ be Strand-o-drool's children.

For the most part, Ear-o-corn kept to himself. Speaking mostly only when he was spoken to, as one is want to do when in a strange place among strange folk. Wine was served and several of the wood elves became rather drunk I am afraid. For wood elves love their wine, especially the king. The king, however, did not drink as much this night, for he had guests to entertain. When the meal was finished the company - those that could stand – made their way outside where they would have song and dance under the stars.

Merriment was made and before long it was called upon the guests to sings some songs from Rivet Dale. 'Dum and 'Hee were much filled with wine and did not seem too much interested in making music at the time. It was up to Ear-o-corn to please the company.

He stood before the crowd. His dark hair hung loose around his shoulders, and he wore a fine outfit. White sparkly pants that fitted him well as well as a white sparkly jacket. He cleared his throat and began to sing.

"_We're caught in a trap,_

_I can't walk out,_

_Because I love you too much baby._

_Why can't you see what you're doin' to me?_

_When you don't believe a word I say._

_We can't go on together_

_With suspicious minds_

_And we can't build our dreams on suspicious minds._

_So with an old friend I know_

_Stopped by to say, 'hello'_

_Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?_

_Here we go again_

_Askin' where I been_

_You can't see the tears are real _

_I'm cryin'_

_We can't go on together_

_With suspicious minds_

_And we can't build our dreams on suspicious minds._

_All that I love survives_

_I'll dry the tears from your eyes._

_Let's don't let a good thing die._

_Well honey you know I never lied to you._

_Oooooo yeah_

_We're caught in a trap,_

_I can't walk out,_

_Because I love you too much baby._

_Why can't you see what you're doin' to me?_

_When you don't believe a word I say._

_Well you don't know we're caught in a trap,_

_I can't walk out,_

_Because I love you too much baby."_

His voice was fair and they called for another for the first had pleased them so. "One with a little more bounce in it!" called one of the listeners. So Ear-o-corn began to sing a second song. Before long into it, he and the elves began to dance to the music.

_"Lord Almighty! I feel my temperature risin'!_

_Higher and higher_

_It's burnin' through to my soul!_

_Girl, girl, girl, girl,_

_You're gonna' set me on fire_

_My brain is flamin'_

_I don't know which way to go!_

_Your kisses leave behind_

_Like the sweet song from the choir_

_You blind my sky with burnin' love_

_Ooo, Ooo, Ooo_

_I feel my temperature risin'!_

_Help me, I'm flamin'_

_Must be a hundred and nine_

_Burnin', burnin', burnin'_

_And nothin' can cool me._

_Yeah_

_I just missed my chance to smoke_

_But I feel fine because_

_Your kisses leave behind_

_Like the sweet song from the choir_

_You blind my sky with burnin' love_

_It's coming clo-"_

At that moment, Ear-o-corn tripped and fell. The music and dancing halted as the company stared in disbelief at the youth. Leg-o-lamb stood from his seat. Elves did not loose their balance so easily. He charged over to the youth and after helping him up, he pulled the youth's hair back to reveal round ears, not pointed.

"I knew it!" Leg-o-lamb stepped back and pointed his finger at Ear-o-corn, "You are no elf! You are an elvish impersonator!"

(Tolkien's rollin' in his grave, I'm sure. Let me know what you think.)


End file.
